You are beautiful.

Yesterday I was looking at photos of myself at ages 17 to about 22. For all of those years (and more), I thought I was too fat and too ugly. I knew my boobs were too small, my smile too overbite-y (I'm a writer; I can make up words), my thighs too big, and my calves not fit for wearing shorts, skirts, or capris. Bathing suits? Um, not on your life. I wondered how anyone could look at me and see past my crooked lower teeth or my overbite or the red spot I've always had on my nose.

But when I looked at those pictures yesterday, with 20+ years between me and that girl, I realize that I wasn't fat. And although I wasn't (and never will be) supermodel beautiful - or even the prettiest girl in the room - I wasn't ugly. Sometimes, I even looked cute (despite those crazy dark, thick eyebrows and bad tan lines!) And it made me sad to realize that I've spent so many years worried about things that just didn't matter. The lack of confidence and the warped body image caused me more heartache and anxiety than I can adequately express. Worse yet, it still does. I still have trouble taking the advice I'm about to dish out.

So I want to tell all of my son's friends - and anyone who thinks you're too fat, too thin, too short, too ugly, too anything - stop telling yourself that. It's your self-image that's imperfect - NOT YOU. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are so much more than you believe. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

We all have room for improvement. There's no one who can't become a better version of themselves. But if I could give one piece of advice is would be to stop worrying about the superficial stuff. It doesn't matter. It's NOT what makes you who you are.

If you want to be better then work on improving your mind or your attitude or your self-perception. Read more. Explore your world. Find joy and beauty in the little things. Travel whenever you get the chance. Smile. Laugh (a lot). Be kind. Help a stranger. Be interesting. Pass on negativity and anger; it only brings you down. Seek happiness. Work hard and smart, but don't become your job or spend all your time working; there's too much else to do and too little time. Respect yourself - and others. Hug. Hold hands. Adopt a pet and care for it with all your heart. Walk in the rain. Go to the beach at night and listen to the surf, look at the stars. Make things happen rather than waiting for them to. Love - every day; it's worth the risk and the potential heartbreak. Be good to your body, but don't completely give up treats that make you happy. There's nothing better than an ice cream cone on a warm summer night or hot chocolate by the fire.

Take care of your body, yes. But don't obsess over it. And remember, if people tell you you're not worthy - with words, actions, or inactions - don't believe it. It is absolutely NOT true.

Please, learn to love you. Just as you are. It will be the best gift you can give yourself. And the earlier, the better. Don't wait until you're 43 and have wrinkles and your boobs and butt have dropped a few inches. You'll still be beautiful then, but you'll have wasted too many years thinking you weren't and too much time wishing you had bigger (or smaller) boobs, better hair, nicer skin, or flatter abs, when all along, it was the other stuff that really mattered.